Why Perfectionism Causes Me to Procrastinate
Stop letting the fear of failure hold you captive. Start living out your dreams.
“If I can’t do something at 100%, then I‘m not doing it at all! It’s all or nothing.” “What if I fail?” “What if it doesn’t turn out as I hope?” “What if I look like an idiot?”
Do these thoughts resonate with you? Congrats, you might be a serial perfectionist. Your perfectionism is leading you to overthink, hijacking your brain into being dominated by the fear of failure, causing you to procrastinate, and you’re most likely struggling to reach your dreams or achieve your goals.
How did I realize this for myself?
At the start of 2020, my coworker asked me an interesting question, “Rather than having your News Years Resolution be a task this year, what’s a mindset that you’d like to adopt?” With many unsuccessful attempts at achieving my New Years Resolutions (like many of you, I’ve bought an annual gym membership that I stopped using after the second month), this question gave me the opportunity to pause and do some serious introspection.
I asked myself,
“What mindset do I currently have that’s causing unhealthy thought and life patterns. What’s a mindset that I need to adopt in order to grow as a person?”
“WHY NOT OVER WHAT IF!” screamed out at me.
Clouded by “what ifs” for the majority of my life and being hijacked by perfectionism and the fear of failure, I decided enough is enough!
2020 was the year of “Why not over what ifs”! I decided to dedicate a whole year to adopting and implementing this mindset.
The concept of adopting a mindset seemed much more powerful than performing an action for my New Year’s Resolution. Our mindset has the power to frame perspective and naturally motivate action. Whereas, if we just focus on completing the action itself, it often leads to feelings of boredom, being overwhelmed, and sucking the joy out of it, as it soon becomes a “task” to check off.
But First, Let’s Address the Root of My Perfectionism (And Perhaps Yours)
My “what ifs” were driven by three flawed ways of thinking:
- I‘m afraid to “fail” at something.
- “Failure” is the end all be all.
- “Failing” makes me a “failure”.
But where does that leave you and me? Passing by each day with lost potential and unfulfilled dreams.
After adopting my, “Why not over what ifs” mindset, I started to realize that the real failure was not attempting to start something because of my fear of failure. Ironic isn’t it?
The Magic of Letting Go of Perfectionism
Through addressing my perfectionism and fear of failure, my inner thoughts were slowly replaced with:
- What are the opportunities?
- “Failure” isn’t the end all be all.
- I may go through challenges and setbacks, but these aren’t “failures”. They’re opportunities to learn and grow.
- Even if I do “fail” at something, this doesn’t make me a failure.
Spot the difference?
One of my favourite Youtubers, Nathanial Drew, has a video, titled, “How to Get Unstuck In Life (and start building momentum), where he shares how “ordinary people can achieve extraordinary results through the compounding effect of little decisions or actions.”
Letting go of “what ifs” and potential failures gives us the freedom to take the first step. It gives us the permission to allow for setbacks, instead of being paralyzed into thinking it’s the end of the world. It gives us the freedom to know that our identity, worth, and value as human beings are not defined by what we do.
Letting go of perfectionism allows us to view potential obstacles as the essential building blocks towards something greater.
How This Transformed My Life
Once I stopped letting perfectionism rule my life, my “what ifs” mindset opened new doors in various aspects of my life:
- I was ready to start a one-year internship with an NGO in Thailand, even though the thought of moving across the world, leaving my comfort zone, and becoming acquaintances with all sorts of wild animals and insects scared the heck out of me (due to the pandemic, this was eventually cancelled).
- I started seeing my psychologist for the first time and it changed my life! I let go of resentment and unresolved trauma that I carried onto for years.
- I joined a 3-month workshop on conquering perfectionism, where I shared vulnerably with complete strangers every week, on this very topic I was afraid of addressing before. I learned to be comfortable talking to others about my imperfections and in turn, became passionate about creating safe spaces for authenticity, vulnerability, and deep connection.
- I picked up creative hobbies again, after an eight-year hiatus because my drive for perfectionism and “worldly-defined success” led me to only prioritize work and not play. By letting go of perfectionism, I rediscovered my inner creative child and reignited my passion.
- I started a photography account (@lensofyents) on Instagram, after procrastinating on it for years because I didn’t feel like a “professional photographer.” I’ve received overwhelming love and support from friends and strangers.
- I found the courage to quit my toxic job, where I was underpaid and undervalued, in the middle of a global pandemic, without the security of another job lined up. I let go of the “perfect scenario” of when to leave a job. (Here’s what happened. I was contacted to join a company that recognized my value, moments after my farewell. Know your worth!)
- I applied for my master's program, despite feeling inadequate and experiencing the fear of failure and rejection. I was accepted and I’m loving it so far!
- I’m here writing publicly for the first time for everyone to read, despite feeling imposter syndrome for not graduating with a Communications degree. But here I am!
This was only one year of letting go of perfectionism and look at what blossomed out of it. I stopped procrastinating and paralyzing. I started going and doing.
Do I still have more to learn? Yes.
Will I ever reach perfection? No.
But, am I one step closer than I was yesterday? Yes.
Your Turn
How’re perfectionism and the fear of failure hijacking your life and preventing you from achieving your goals? What if you succeed, rather than fail?
It’s not too late to take that first step today.
